"Can I have your number?"
"No" We've been talking for about 40 seconds.
"Ahh well, Do you want to come back to my hotel instead? I'm staying just down the road."
"No." 

I'm sure you've probably had a conversation similar to this. This is part of an exchange I had with a guy outside a nightclub recently, although it did stick with me and it got me to thinking about my own personal life. 

Like a lot most women, I like my own space. I like to shop by myself, take myself to lunch and just generally enjoy doing things by myself. I'm also highly aware that it is good to take things as they come and embrace change. A thought came over me the other day of not wanting to ‘fetishise’ my singleness nor the objects that represent it.

I believe one of the best lessons my ‘singleness’ has given me is having the opportunity to learn about how I make decisions without the influence of a significant other. That’s not to say I always make the right decisions, I don’t and I never will. But here’s the thing, having the sole reliance on yourself and being the person that makes that choice has helped me to better understand the role of personal responsibility in my life thus far. 

Having spoken to friends who are both single and in relationships the idea of guilt has arisen on occasion. Like the idea of being single is somehow considered to be self-imposed, and in some cases it is (i.e. purposely taking yourself 'off the market') It doesn't matter, in my experience you do what you need to do to for yourself. 

When I think of guilt 'non-relationship' guilt the idea of loneliness comes into question too. In this context, it’s hard not ask yourself is it because of my current predicament? The answer to that one is, who knows? Everyone is different, but if you're feeling lonely the best thing to do is talk about it. 

I find that 'being single' is used, particularly against young women as the main condition of why said person is unhappy. It is highly unfair to suggest that a woman is single because she doesn't conform to expected values. I laughed the other day when an article appeared on my Twitter feed and revealed to me “12 Reasons Why You’re Still Single”  Still?!? I've read a lot of articles and 'listicles' as research for this piece, and I have to say that the majority of them contradict themselves in one way or another. What I find more alarming is that most of the pieces are on female-oriented websites How are young women expected to blaze their path if they're made to feel constantly down about not having their personal life sorted down to a fine detail?

So what’s my advice to one single lady to another? For a start, relax. We all have insecurities. Take some time for yourself figure out what you enjoy and what makes you tick. Challenge yourself and don't let 'non-relationship' overcome you.