LIFE: Criticism + Confidence
14:23As a graduate fresh out of university I am well versed in the world constructive criticism.
Now don't get me wrong here, I knew it wouldn't be easy. If there was a convenient switch off button for feelings when rejection and criticism reared its ugly head, most of us would be hitting it frantically.
How each one of us deals with rejection and criticism is subjective and I don't for one second think that we should be pressured to deal with in one certain way. For me personally, I believe the key lies in confidence.
Throughout my secondary school years I had problems with my confidence on and off. This made not ask questions or for feedback out of self-preservation for my own feelings, also my school just happened to be really awful in dealing with people in general. In doing so, I spent a stupid amount of time comparing myself to other people and forcing myself to change even though I knew deep down I wasn't happy, for a while I was on a strange auto-pilot mode.
In hindsight I realized how unhappy I was and how much I was punishing myself(this was back in the dark old days of 2009-10) Anyway, since attending university, graduating, meeting new people finding more about myself etc.. I am much more happy and confident in myself.
So, here's my advice for dealing with critique:
1) TALK, TALK, TALK! - I can't emphasize this one enough. And here's the thing, I'm not 100% at doing this and probably never will be. But the burden that gets lifted from your shoulders once you talk is so relieving. Talking can be cathartic, so talk to someone you feel comfortable with & never underestimate its power.
2) STOP PUNISHING YOURSELF - I know its a very hard thing to do, but by punishing yourself you're not going to accomplish anything, your just going to make yourself feel worse.
3) DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY - Remember, the criticism you receive in a professional environment is just that PROFESSIONAL. It is not an insult against your character or how you conduct yourself on a personal level.
4) ASK FOR SPECIFICS - I get this can be difficult one. But if you're in a situation where you've been rejected regarding a job and get the generic 'thank you for taking the time to interview..blah blah' email (you know the one I mean) don't be afraid to ask for feedback, this could help you to spot a pattern of what your weaknesses are and from that you can improve.
L x
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