The six days proceeding Christmas day might just be strangest of the year, I've always felt like this. The limbo you find yourself in after the post-Christmas stupor leading up to New Year. You're not sure if you should still be treating yourself because the fridge is still full of cheese and champagne and you can't decide whether it's a better idea to go to the pub or gym. A legitimate question I asked myself on Wednesday afternoon of this week.
2016. What a year. In a seemingly never ending cycle of negative news and world events, I won't go through the rigmarole of grievances and bad things that have happened this year. I suspect your Twitter and Facebook feed are giving you your fair share. Speaking personally, this year has been good for me on a personal level I would put this down to a mixture of things but to pull out a few choice words personal responsibility, perspective and learning to embrace change come to mind.

When it comes to personal responsibility I have tended in the past to associate it with other people as as well as just myself. In doing this for so long what I've come to realize in the latter half of this year is that this is also tied to my compulsion in certain situations to people-please, something I believe a lot of young women in particular struggle with.
When I sat and thought about it there were so many things that I do and end up repeating adding to that circle of confusion.
I can't tell you the amount of times I've been having a conversation with a someone and I've just wanted to bail because I have no interest in what they're saying but I've refrained because of the fear of being called impolite, staying out until 5.30 in the morning when all I wanted to do was go home hours prior, drinking more than I intended just because I felt I should and then end up ruining the following day with a low mood and for what? The list goes on. 2016 was the year where a lot of things came to catalyst and things have come to change.

I've had the great privilege of being able to spend a chunk of this year in South-East Asia. 2015 was a unsettled year for me which encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone this year and it was the best thing I ever did and I will be eternally grateful for the the life experiences it has given me.
I'll never be able to truly explain and to do justice to what this has given me in terms of seeing the world, educating myself on new places, meeting new people and being open to change. The list goes on (I know, cliché backpacker shit) but it's true.
I've met some wonderful people this year, who I know I would never have met under and other circumstances other than the fact that I put myself out there and tried something different.
It was the year I decided to stop lying to myself and get relative. I realize that I will never be all things to all people, you will never get everyone to like you and that's okay. I think a lot of my actions up until this point have been more to the benefit of others while leaving me confused because of bending over backwards into this person that I wasn't. It just leaves you feeling uncomfortable and anxious. In writing this I have thought about change a lot and I believe that there is no 'end game' per se in terms of the person you become, everything around you will always be moving; big or small the key is to learn how to embrace and go with it.


So as resolutions go I'm not making any, maybe just a few guide posts along the way. I feel positive right now and I don't just say that as a passing feeling. So here we go for the next 365 days, let's ride the wave and see what happens.